It seems like not much changed here while I was gone, but nothing is the same anymore.
It's been a difficult few weeks trying to adjust to being back home. With no real down time, I have been trying to process things as I was thrown back into school, homework, being with family & friends, and everything else. Although there have been lots of ups and downs these past 3 weeks, I feel like nothing really sank in until the end of this week. It hit me that as I was getting ready to come back to AZ I had all these great expectations and hopes for the semester. I was excited to see what God had in store and why I was to be in Tucson for at least another semester/possibly year. Unfortunately, the excitement quickly faded, problems came up, and nothing has really happened-whether it is my fault for not being excited and motivated to pursue things, being lazy, or answers just being no to things I thought would work out. I feel like next week should finally be the first week of school and then I realize that its the beginning of the 3rd. I don't want to waste my time here. I don't want to forget all I learned this summer and all the ways that God grew me bringing me closer to Him. I've had so much on my mind about what I'm going to do when I graduate, how I'm going to afford anything, relationships with friends, and so much more. It has distracted me from always having my focus on God. Finally realizing this doesn't necessarily fix anything or make it any easier, but it does allow me to know what needs to change and give everything up to God.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith: So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent of praiseworthy-think about such things."